Update # (whatever): Read this so you don't email us later asking the same stupid questions
over 6 years ago
– Wed, Aug 09, 2017 at 09:37:33 AM
Good news and bad news.
The good news is - the crayons are made!
The bad news - for unknown reasons, shipping is delayed 3 to 4 weeks. Is it due to being on the precipice of nuclear war with North Korea that Trump is encouraging? Is it due to the Chinese not knowing how calendars work? We may never know.
We appreciate your patience and understanding, even though you don't really have much of a choice at this point since we already have your money.
-Dan & Alice
Check your inbox for a survey!
almost 7 years ago
– Wed, Jul 26, 2017 at 08:18:35 AM
Hi Backers,
This morning we're sending out pledge surveys to collect your shipping information and confirm your orders. We/ve partnered with BackerKit to collect this information.
You don’t need to create a BackerKit account to answer your survey. The invitation email contains a link to your personal survey. It is important to submit your responses as quickly as you can since we need this information to process your rewards.
If you need to change your survey responses, purchase add-on items, or update your shipping information, you can click the link in your survey email again or request your survey link under "Lost your survey?" on our BackerKit project page. (This page will only start working after we send the surveys out.)
BackerKit helps us save lots of time by streamlining the survey process, automating data organization, and providing us with pledge management software to make it easy to process your pledge reward shipments.
If you used your Facebook credentials to log in to your Kickstarter account, the BackerKit survey link is sent to the email address you use for your Facebook account. If you have another email address that you prefer to use, please contact me.
Again, thanks for all your support. We can’t wait to send you your Offensive Crayons.
-Alice & Dan
ps. We're well aware that this informational update sounds as if we're shills for Backerkit.
Backer Reward Update
almost 7 years ago
– Tue, Jun 27, 2017 at 09:53:01 PM
Just to keep everyone updated:
Kickstarter is currently reviewing and processing pledges, which takes about two weeks. If your form of payment doesn't go through, they'll email you every 48 hours, and if you ignore that, they'll call you and hang up, text your friends asking if they've seen you, then randomly show up in the middle of the night just to see if you're still awake or have a new significant other over at your house.
We're working on our end with our manufacturer to get the final product made and ensure that they don't fuck this up for us. We're also still working on the coloring book, and we would love to hear your ideas for additional pages to include. Cartoon mouse with large ears pulling anal beads out of an Italian-American mustached plumber dressed in red overalls who can both be legally differentiated from any kind of copyrighted material currently in existence? We might be working on that.
Finally, if you know of a dickhead who missed their chance and is interested in snagging a pack of Offensive Crayons, we're continuing to take pre-orders on BackerKit.
-Dan & Alice
Good News & Meh News
almost 7 years ago
– Tue, Jun 13, 2017 at 05:47:06 PM
Thank you again to everyone who has supported us thus far. We're still surprised that we can make this an actual thing. But now onto the update...
Meh News...
We wanted to release a special edition crayon pack for our Kickstarter family, but most manufacturers aren't able to do a small custom batch of crayons. Jerks.
Not-So-Meh News...
Because of all the support, we're absolutely creating a holiday expansion pack. We figured if you're going to have to suffer crippling anxiety around your family (or because you're alone), you should at least have something to make it less miserable.
Thank you again for being a part of this!
-Alice & Dan
You made this happen!
almost 7 years ago
– Mon, May 29, 2017 at 06:43:18 PM
Because of you, and similar horrible people who quite honestly disgust us, Offensive Crayons is 100% funded after just five days!
Thank you so much for making this an actual thing!
And we hear you: STRETCH GOALS! We're on it! But first, we want your suggestions (no matter how morally decrepit they might be). Stay posted and we should have all of that information in the next update.
-Dan & Alice
ps. Yes, we'll take suggestions for crayon names as well!
